I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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