I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
