You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
He kissed a someone with a penis
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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