Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
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