when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
