Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
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