i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
