You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
