At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
