the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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