Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
