Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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