I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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