He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
it's like iHOP with fire
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
