somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
