i just had sex bonerless
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
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