i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
