they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Are my feet made of real feet?
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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