Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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