i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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