haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Slut skills are useful in every country.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Randomize