Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I will die if light touches me.
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
