I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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