he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
