your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
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