You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Two words: nipple clamps
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