she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
