i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I am available for nakedness
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Randomize
