I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
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