So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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