By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Randomize
