we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
