i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Idk if I want to put a bra on
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
