maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
