she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Randomize