Swine flu. Run for my life!
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Randomize
