why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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