so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
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