I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Randomize
