During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize