Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
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