Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
These tits shall not be calmed
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
