Your dad touched me again.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize