omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
