I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Randomize