I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
