i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize