WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
