Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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