"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize