so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize