Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
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