I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize