I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
