those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize