Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Randomize
