Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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