just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
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