just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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