I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
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