well I can't set my house on fire every night
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
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