i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize