absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Randomize
