i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
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