He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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