I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
