Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize