it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
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