I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
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