I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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