I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
