I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
My dick has a subreddit
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Randomize
