I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize