You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
