oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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