you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize
