my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
