Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Randomize
